


Can't Get No Love (Without Sacrifice)

by nottoosurebutok



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Android Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Angst, Dead Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Depressed Hank Anderson, Human!Connor, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Inspired by Black Mirror, M/M, Not Beta Read, Not Happy, Post-Death Note: Another Note, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 21:25:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18269609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nottoosurebutok/pseuds/nottoosurebutok
Summary: Connor is dead. Hank is alone and he can't cope. He gets himself an android tailored after Connor.





	Can't Get No Love (Without Sacrifice)

**Author's Note:**

> The title is the song Happy Ending by MIKA. Thought this was a fitting song right after I finished this. 
> 
> Inspired by Black Mirror, S2EP1 "Be Right Back". That episode is one of my favorites and probably the most realistic to me. Please check it out. 
> 
> This took me a while to complete. I don't know if I'll continue it or not, it was pretty draining and I struggle with writing. No beta so sorry if there are a lot of mistakes. I haven't uploaded work in a while. Please go easy on me but I am open to criticism and suggestions.

Drinking whiskey seemed like an obvious choice in order to forget about details. Instead, it seems to burn the details into his mind just as the whiskey burned into his throat. Unforgettable. Always bitter no matter how much is thought of, he no longer knows whether he’s stopped drinking or not. It’s hard to tell, everything is a blur, and nothing is the same.

 

It’s been exactly two years since _he_ passed. No, he didn’t pass. Pass sounds peaceful, sounds soft and innocent just like the voice he hears in his drunken rage. He was murdered, shown no mercy at all, only the face remained without touch as if life had cruelly preserved that lovely face. Those sweet brown eyes, speckled with honey-like drops, so special and unique.

 

There would never be someone like Connor. Connor, their best and youngest detective after all, bright and righteous while facing reality with a keen eye. Connor with a little tuff of hair that fell over his forehead, the one Hank would continuously tug as a sign of affection. Or the way he gave a lop-sided smile, goofy but endearing enough. The touch of his smooth palms, he had been on the force for less than eight years, so smart and sarcastic. Hank thinks the sarcasm was picked up, he liked it on Connor.

 

Connor, the man who made Hank a man again. Connor who help put Hank out of his self-loathing state, helped him keep away from nasty habits. Oh, if only Connor could see him now. Bitter, angry, depressed, terrible, useless…. Connor helped him out of that mindset, who showed love and support even when Hank refused it.

 

Is there a God? If there was, he supposes God had punished him, given him a taste of love and quickly snatched it. Cruel.

 

A spiral of no self-control, no one pushing him for the best, no one there to tell him off about smoking or drinking. Maybe that’s what leads Hank to the decision of bringing him back. He was selfish, couldn’t handle the thought of being alone, of Connor in peace while he wailed in a puddle of alcohol. Seeking a service that he originally thought as useless, almost inhumane as Connor would have put it.  

 

Androids aren’t a new phenomenon, they’re common. They’ve been around for years but Connor and Hank never cared for one, always busy on the force and caught up in themselves. He knows that Cyberlife shouldn’t be his last option; he doesn’t care. He needs him back, needs Connor and if he has to go into debt getting him then so be it. He’ll spend everything to get Connor back, get a trace of him, a whiff. It's sadistic, its desperate and Hank doesn’t care. The police station would probably think he’s too far gone but Connor will be his secret, no one would hurt him ever again.

 

* * *

 

Hank has to admit that he doesn’t expect a whole container to be delivered to him, Sumo is sniffing the container and whining as if he knew what Hank had done. “Sumo,” He murmured and shooed away.

 

The container stood tall and proud, slightly larger than himself and taking up a spot in the living room. He didn’t want to open it because it would only solidify the fact that Connor was gone, that Hank had to resort to buying an android to imitate Connor. Hank carefully ran his hand over the smooth white container, the words flashing on the front, ‘RK-800’ and changing to ‘Connor’.

 

Hank had given all the information on Connor, his texts, his voicemails, videos, private videos. Every little detail, photos, and clothes and anything personal. He had explained what Connor was like, they had even looked over his records and they had gotten Connor down to the perfect little freckles. It was rather unsettling, just like the box standing in the room. It was the elephant in the room. Impossible to deny, looming over Hank and swallowing him up just like he swallowed liquor.

 

His hands shook as he slowly unclasped the sides and opened the container carefully. He does not know what to expect, what could one expect anyway? He had brought his deceased lover back for his own perverted need for affection. He thinks about the fact he had never gotten to propose to Connor, he had bought the ring and everything but had contemplated if he should wait. What a fool, what a fucking fool.

 

There he was, body carefully pressed into the foam that had kept him protected. Covered in simple briefs, exposed and eyes closed. It was like looking into the casket all over again, perfect face against a soft cushion and eyes closed. Peaceful, asleep and dead. Hank couldn’t take it, it was disgusting, and he rushed to the bathroom where he threw up. He cried, hard and long on the bathroom floor. He had done something so horribly wrong, but yet Connor was in the room and Hank still felt the need to crawl back.

 

It took courage to step out, looking at the android continued to fill him up with dread. Connor. No wounds in his chest, no scars, no blood gushing out of his body or mouth. He had seen the report when Connor was brutally murdered, the pictures, the evidence. He was angry, he was hysterical. Who had let Connor alone? Why did the fucking kid run off to play hero? Couldn’t he have waited? Waited for Hank, for backup, for anything. The attacker had caught Connor off guard, he could almost imagine the blood-curdling screams, but he reminded himself that Connor would have been stronger. He would put up a fight, would be strong but Hank deep down knew that Connor was alone and scared when he died. Such a horrendous way to die for a beautiful soul.

 

It took Hank hours to even address the android, he had run his hands over and over the body, crying and flinching every time. It was almost three in the morning, dark and the only light coming from the container.

The instructions were simple, in a simple envelope. ‘To activate say, ‘Wake up, Connor’’. Hank read the words bitterly, Hank never was the first to wake up and Connor would always sake him and call him ‘sweets’ or some bullshit nickname instead.

 

Hank’s voice wavered as he spoke gently, throat dry from crying. “Wake up Connor.”

 

The android opened its eyes, the LED on the side of his head slowly whirling while staying blue. It, Hank thought ‘it’ would suit it for now till he got used to this. It was an android, it wasn’t actually Connor. The really didn’t sit in his stomach well. It looked at its surroundings carefully, examining and tilting its head ever so slightly. Finally focusing its eyes on Hank, Connor of mouth twitching into a slight smile.

 

“Hank.”

 

 It’s voice breathlessly and painfully Connor, that sweet voice that didn’t come from a video but something he heard for real. Sumo barked at Connor, sniffing him before being quick to jump against the legs of the android. It seemed to examine the dog for only a second while its LED spun from yellow to blue.

 

“Sumo! I’ve missed you.”

 

It wasn’t fair, Hank thought, making small steps to Connor. His hands slowly touched the arms and slid down to wrap around his waist. Hank broke down, holding the android as if he was truly Connor, they had even gotten his scent onto this machine. It wrapped its own arms around Hank and held on the way _he_ used to. It felt right, twisted and artificial but Hank basked in the moment. Basked in the love and attention he got from this machine. Was it even love? Hank didn’t care right now.

 

Once his own crying had calmed, it spoke up gently. “Hank, as much as I would love to be here all day. I do need clothes.” The soft chuckle at the end sounded so natural, so genuine because of course, Connor would act this way.

 

It took Hank a moment to let go and when he pulled back, he noticed Connor wasn’t crying. For some reason, it didn’t settle well in his chest, but he chose to ignore it for now.

 

“Y-Yeah...” Was all he could muster, walking to the room and opening the closet door. He picked out an old shirt Connor always wore, while it was Hank’s originally it seemed that Connor had stolen it for lazy days, the logo of the University faded from all the washes. It still held that scent, that one piece of clothing that he just couldn’t hand off to Cyberlife.

 

Back in the living room, Hank handed Connor the clothing and let him dress. Hank could see the faint outline of a circle on its torso, it fucked with his mind on how he had seen Connor. An artificial pump, no large wound that oozed out organs and blood.  

 

 “Comfy?” Hank spoke lamely, unsure of how to act. It tilted up to look at him, eyes expressive.

 

“Course.” It blinked before walking closer to Hank and smiling at the man.

 

“We need to rest, big bear,” Connor spoke in a teasing manner, gently tugging Hank.

 

He felt frozen in spot, this machine of Connor was imitating the actions and gestures. That’s all it was but somehow it didn’t matter at the moment. His judgment was clouded with desperation, he was starved of love and there was a machine that would grant him all his wishes.

 

It took another tug for Hank to snap out of his gaze. He let himself be led; it knew its way around the house, but it wouldn’t have been too hard anyway. The room wasn’t in the best condition, on side sunk in more than the other, the other side seemed to always remain cold even when Sumo joined him

 

Turning his attention to the machine, he sat at the edge of the bed and took a moment to look him over properly again. Everything about it was Connor, there wouldn’t be a way to distinguish either of them. The crease of his eyebrows, the way his eyes followed and examined him as if trying to figure out his thoughts. A slight tilt of his head, almost like a puppy he would remind Connor fondly all the time.

 

Memories were tied to all these gestures, to Connor. Connor was his life. Kept him sane from all the work they did together and his past. Sitting on the couch just watching basketball while Connor talked about some smart shit that Hank couldn’t give two shits about but listening to Connor’s voice was enough. Or when they’d be eating in the car and Connor would complain about how much bacon he got in the burger, the laughs they would have as Hank ate obnoxiously to annoy Connor evermore. And sometimes the simplest of moments like when they would just fill out reports at the prescient or when Connor would be looking out the car window to scratching Sumo’s head absentmindedly. Those were memories that he clung to because it was all about Connor, about his essence that shouldn’t be reproduced but it was all thanks to Hank. Here sat in front of him was the embodiment of Connor, all thanks to his deteriorating mindset.

 

Hanks didn’t think as his hand cupped its cheek, stroking the corner of his mouth. Tears filled his tear ducts and slid down his checks into the unkempt beard. Being a weak man, no one could have stopped him, leaning forward and greedily kissing something that pretended to be Connor. No – this was supposed to be Connor now.

 

Connor made a noise as if surprised and then it was kissing him back. With the eagerness, desperation he had or maybe Hank was imagining it all. It didn’t matter now; sweet Connor was kissing _him,_ and Hank was going to bask in it all. He would take advantage, his hands unable to stop from feeling and touching because those noises it let out were music he hadn’t heard in forever.

 

* * *

 

Who could blame Hank for indulging in his perversion? Inside the android, warm and perfect, he had forgotten how good sex was. Connor with his smooth body, with his breathless moan and soft smile that would twist into a pleasured gasp. Hank was in love, he loved Connor and he had always been a man of action. It was for him, not for the memory of Connor but for Hank. He was having sex with an android who was pretending to be Connor because Hank was a sad man. There was no excuse and Hank would not offer one, this was for the greediness of his mind, he had become so dependent on Connor that now he was lost and alone using a plastic doll to make up for that.

 

Hank was tired now, exhausted. He felt dirty now, felt like all those men who would willingly take advantage of others. The ones he despised reading about, Connor would always have his mouth twisted into a tight line when he read those cases.

 

Connor was silent and wide-eyed, staring up at the ceiling and unmoving. “Um… are you not going to sleep?” Hank asked. He was sticky and tired, yet Connor looked as if he had just been taken out of the box, no sweat or tiredness. Just a doll without emotion as if his duty had been done.

 

“I don’t need sleep,” Connor spoke up, turning to look at Hank, body hidden under the covers, head leaning to rest on Hank’s bicep.

 

“Well, just fuckin’ try. Kind of freaking me out.” Hank murmured, the unsettling feeling returning to him as he wrapped his arm around Connor.

 

It felt weird to hold Connor right now, there laid what he had wanted this whole time, in his arms. Yet it didn’t make him feel any better. Was he betraying the trust of Connor? Replacing an actual human who had already died with a plastic boy. It didn’t let him rest peacefully, his mind a dark storm filling up with all that Connor would actually say.

 

When he awoke, he was surprised to have Connor on his arm, in the exact position and eyes shut but the breathing seemed unnatural, fake.

 

“Hey, I need to shower.” He murmured, the android peeked its eyes open and removed itself.

 

“Would you like breakfast? I can make eggs and bacon.” Its smile gentle but the words seemed out of place. Connor would have whined and told Hank that he was too sore to make breakfast and told him that he’d get upset if he made too much bacon. Would nag about his weight and habits until Hank would get back into bed and convince him with morning kisses that were filled with bubbly laughter.

 

“Um…yeah” Was all Hank could muster before leaving to the bathroom. His shower was simple and quick, he didn’t want to take long especially with thoughts that threatened to spiral him out of control.

 

He got dressed and stepped out to the living room and was surprised to see that everything was practically tided. Breakfast already out and Connor sat opposite of where Hank would normally sit. It didn’t have a plate in front, but Hank didn’t mention it as he sat down in front of him.

 

“You don’t eat?” His voice gruff and he picked at the perfect food with a fork.

 

Shaking its head he proceeded to speak. “I do not require food or sleep or any basic necessity.” It sounded recited, a speech like an actual machine which was what it was but Hank didn’t need to be reminded.

 

“Quit that, you sound too… robot-like.” Hank mumbled, food suddenly looking less and less appetizing.

 

The LED turned yellow and then back to blue. “Sorry,”

 

“How has work been? I’m sure you’ve been busy, or have you been just lazing around and annoying Gavin.” Connor continued while managing that side-looped smile and Hank felt himself calming down. It was as if Connor was really there, really talking and Hank took advantage of the moment

 

“I… haven’t really done shit.” He answered honestly. “Gavin- he’s not a complete dick anymore. I think he just pity’s me.”

 

The LED turned yellow again as if calculating what to say. “Right...” It chuckled. “You should actually do work this time. I’ll always be home for you.”

 

The way it said that made Hank upset, it was an irrational thing to be upset over it. Out of all things that could bother him about this situation was that the robot would be home. Connor was never the way. He wouldn’t be content with just staying home, he would start an argument about how he too was a cop and needed to work.

 

“You do realize… he was a cop.” His voice deeper “He was never content with staying home, throw some big tantrum.” Hank’s tone changed, further confusing the Android.

 

“I’m sorry, I am still getting used to the dialogue. I will keep that noted.” It was robotic again, learning. Pretending to be Connor.

 

“Fuck off.” Hank stood up suddenly, angry and feeling emotions bubble up.

 

“Can’t believe-“ he huffed. “You’re a fucking robot. Who am I kidding?” He was just trying to fool himself this time, his voice louder.

 

“You’re just some replacement! Nothing like him. All perfect.” It came out hissed, an accusing finger pointing at the machine. The LED turned red before quickly flicking to yellow. “Sor- “it tried to apologize but Hank wasn’t having it.   

 

“Shut up you plastic prick!” Hank yelled at it before storming off to the room. Connor sat there, his LED staying yellow as he tried to process the events, he didn’t try to go after hank and comfort him.

 

* * *

 

 

When Hank came out of his room it was already afternoon, he didn’t even bother to look for Connor, but the machine was there, kneeling next to Sumo and petting him.

 

It should have been an endearing, but it wasn’t. There was nothing _right_ about this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Comments are encouraged and let me know if I should ever continue this or make some type of closing to it.
> 
> Also, if anyone wants to talk about how hank/connor my twitter is @nottoosurebutok


End file.
